Grief is such a strange thing, and even though I’ve lost many people in my lifetime, I’m still not used to the way this process works for us humans.
The biggest thing I’m still working on coming to terms with? Sometimes memories really just sucker punch you in the gut, and there really doesn’t seem to be any way to get around it. The world moves on, and so do you, but sometimes you get thrown back to times gone by and the emotions come with you. In my experience, grief can be much like water at the beach - sometimes it’s calm, and sometimes you get slammed by a wave that you didn’t see coming.
Sometimes your heart just hurts.
And that’s okay. Even if it’s been a while, it’s okay. The one thing you can’t do is pretend it isn’t there. If you’re waist-deep in the ocean and don’t expect to get hit by the next wave that comes along, you’re in for a cold surprise... and it seems to me that grief often works the same way.
If you never quite get to dry land, that’s okay too. Not everyone does, not everyone needs or wants to. Knee-deep waters are much less overwhelming than waves that rise above your head and lift your feet off of the sand. Time may not heal all wounds, but it does help make them easier to carry.
If you’re going through something, know that it’s okay to not be okay. Sadness and other “bad feelings” have their place and are incredibly important (which is why Inside Out is my favorite movie). If you are overwhelmed by waves that seem to keep knocking you down again and again, know that it is not your forever. Whether you feel like it or not, shallow waters are close by - and as long as you press on, they are getting closer.
I’m still in up to my waist. I get bowled over often. Sometimes it’s scary, and it’s often overwhelming. But at the end of the day, I know the shallows are near - so as Dory so wisely says, I will just keep swimming until I get there.
