These two pictures are, obviously, of me. The thing is, I feel as though we aren't even the same person. The Liz who existed two, six, even nine months ago had so much more fear inside her than I do now; anxiety running through her veins, depression weighing down her feet and pinning her to the couch.
I was surprised by what happened mere days after I graduated. Instead of feeling freedom and relief, I hit rock bottom. I had been depressed for months, and when I was at the beach with my family a few days after the ceremony, I texted a friend the most desperate and despondent question I have ever asked another human being. "Have you ever wished you could just lay down and sleep into oblivion?"
I wanted to sink into the ground, wishing that I could simply fall asleep and never wake up. I was entirely miserable during what I had expected to be one of the best times of my life.
I wanted to sink into the ground, wishing that I could simply fall asleep and never wake up. I was entirely miserable during what I had expected to be one of the best times of my life.
About a month later I was given a late graduation gift- a book. The book was called "Trusting God," and it taught me a lot about God's sovereignty. Did you know that nothing escapes God's mighty hand, no matter how small? Did you know that He divinely controls the situations surrounding you so that they will work toward His purposes? Did you know that even bad things must operate under God's supervision, which means that you can trust him even in evil times?
I didn't know that. The church didn't teach me that- the church taught me that God cries with us in our pain, wants better things for us, and so on and so forth. I have used those platitudes myself in efforts to console those around me who are broken. But they aren't always true- God, in his complete knowledge and perfect plan, is sovereign over even those things that we pray He would take away. Does this mean that we should stop praying? Of course not. It does, however, mean that we can stop worrying about the things we cannot control. "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." (Proverbs 16:9, NLT).
The girl in the hat didn't know any of this.
Please, let's begin to teach God's ultimate sovereignty! Can we tell those we love that, although our Heavenly Father does not like to see us in pain, He still allows it to happen for His own perfect reasons and that we can trust his judgement? American Christianity often does not do justice to God's sovereignty- I have heard people tell me, "Maybe God doesn't necessarily care about this decision you're making." This kind of thinking promotes the idea that God is only involved in part of the workings of this world, and that he leaves the rest for us to manage alone.
"Maybe God doesn't necessarily care where you go to college. Maybe God doesn't care whether you keep this job or not." I have been told both of these things- but if God doesn't care about my job or the school I'm at, how can I trust that He cares about any other decisions I make, situations I'm in? What about my health, spiritual well-being, or the state of my friendships? I have to trust that God cares about even the minute things. I know that He does, because I know that He is not a God who places us in situations and then says, "Okay, go figure it out! I'll be here, uninvolved, if you need me."
"May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us-yes, establish the work of our hands." Psalm 90:17 (NIV):
BlueLetterBible says the original word "established" can be interpreted to mean "to be set up, be established, be fixed." God can- and will- set our work for us, if we will let him.
I challenge you get outside of your comfort zone and let God dig a little bit deeper in your life than is necessarily "easy" or "comfortable." Let the Holy Spirit work in your life on a profoundly deep level- make a conscious choice to fully accept His complete control and sovereignty, and then make the decision to allow Him to use everything in your life, from the biggest events to the smallest parts, from Presidential elections to the birth of your first child to whether you leave the house three minutes early or five minutes late tomorrow. Let's accept the blessing of God's sovereignty- and not just accept it, but embrace it.
